the person you love most is the person you tend to hurt most.

why has it always been that way?

is it because we expect too much of them?
is it because we expect too much of ourselves?
is it because we expect too little of them?
is it because we expect too little ourselves?
is it because we are too cautious when being with them?
is it because we are too careless, and couldn't care less, knowing they will forgive us?
is it because we take them for granted?
is it because we are scared of them?
is it because we misunderstood them, thinking we already know a lot about them?
is it because we misunderstood ourselves?
is it because we are over-sensitive?
is it because we are under-sensitive?
is it because it's the other way around?
is it because of the way we treat them?
is it because of the way we react to them?
is it because of the way we talk to them?
is it because of the things we do with them?
is it because we dare not reveal what's truly in our hearts?
or, is it because we dare not know what's truly in their hearts?

our parents, our siblings, our relatives, our friends, our girl/boyfriends.
they are among the people we love the most.
but somehow without realizing it, we hurt them the most.
don't you just realize it?
it sucks, i know.

sometimes when it happens, you know apologizing won't do any good.
sometimes when it happens, you just feel like wishing it never happened.
sometimes when it happens, you make a promise which you try so hard thereafter not to break it but still, you broke it.
sometimes when it happens, you just wanna hug them and wished that time would stop.
sometimes when it happens, you pray really really hard that THAT will not cause you to end your relationship with them.
sometimes when it happens, you don't even know where you've gone wrong.
sometimes when it happens, you just wish you can start anew with: Hi. My name is xxxxx.

................................................................

i've started training with Mr Melvin Tan.
can say that my fitness is zero.
was forced to take extra or more rest cause heartbeat was beating way too fast for far too long.
and i certainly know that i lack that power, speed and of course endurance right now.
gotta start from scratch and build up again no matter how sucky the process may be.
there isn't any nationals for me to look forward to so i guess, i'm looking forward to breaking my own personal best timing once i get back into shape.
the start of training also means one thing, I'm more busy and of course, a certain level of commitment has to be placed there. Once i start working, it'll be even worse. I don't know how i'll handle everything but really, I am trying really hard to juggle and settle back into this phase of my life.
I'm sorry to everyone if I'm ever gonna be out-of-hand this week. with prom coming up, the many dates, training dates that's all over Singapore, and whatever that is happening at home-cleaning up people's mess it's really tough i must say but i'm trying.please, give me some time((:

and let's not talk about A's cause it's finally over. let bygones be bygones.

















i can't sleep too.
cause i'm thinking too much about you.
baby, i love you.