Saturday, December 23
i've been feeling so down and shitty these days...it's like i'm alone in my own world no matter who i'm with,where I am.....blahblah...shit
anyway...got myself a fort minor cd-the rising tide and simple plan-mtv hard rock live....went out with wanling to the singapore garden festival ydae and 'bumped' into mummy woo and her friend...haha,was quite funny...we were like playing hide and seek....
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I really don't know what's wrong with me!! it has been weeks that I have been this way--- i didn't realise it since ydae when mr tay told me sth during training...all my effort have gone down the drain and i really felt that i am so far back from the rest...
he said that i was "TRYING TOO HARD............................"
I was like shit.....how can i not know that...no wonder i feel so tired...
i think i'm just too tensed about everything,
how i can't do ALOT of things i used to do....
how i cant be with the people i used to be....
maybe all these feelings,worries and everything has been inside me for so many years...
i dont know...really i dont know whether i keep up anymore...
i gave up too many times and it's really hard to pick myself up again...
What mr tay said was right...i should relax but i don't even know how the feeling is... i've been so tensed up that i don't even know how to relax??!!! like is there even such things....If only someone was really here to help me....
i'm so not going there....YOU suck....
what the hell....
yay...pahang trip has been cancelled...homework marathon for one week!!shit...i dont even think i can do it anymore...i'm so stupid now...haix...
i cant do anything right...
people think i'ma nuisance to them,a burden....
oh SHIT....maybe it's just my fate to have people aournd me but not by my side....nobody will ever want to be near me....i'm fated to be ALONE for the rest of my life...like so wow!!
who care's if i'm emo or what so ever...hu cares if i die anyway??
shitty goodbye.....
i cant cope...i'm just trying too hard....
23:46
