I WANT TO GET OUT FROM THIS HELL OK! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU AND THE OTHERS!!

forget it...its none of you out there cause i know who i am referring to will NEVER read my blog or i'll be just so dead by now.. Haix, i feel suffocated all the time when i'm here,in this hell or prison or whatever shit you want to call this.. I'm not your DOG TO DO EVERYTHING YOU ASK ME TO!! hey my goodness!!i am a human with feelings lah,fcuk you!!
you dont have to act as though 'you care bout me' cause i know you cant be bothered with the pathetic me.
i know i'm never good enough for BOTH OF YOU and the rest...whenever i go home,you know what i feel like?! i feel as though i'm chocked, suffocated-i cant breathe-i'm chocked by my own blood cause i've been bleeding inside for years now...

i am tired

i am tired of everything

i am tired of pretending to be nice

i am tired to bother bout everything

why do u think i always take my own sweet time to go home-if possible till 7pm or even 8pm when training or school is like in the morning? dont u ever notice? i HATE YOU!

you think you're the only one having so much problems is it?? oh my fcking gosh! no! you dont know,you seriously dont know about my feelings!! you dont know about my problems....what i have to go through all this while...

dont you understand that i just to be Me again?because i'm tired of pretending----to tell YOU the truth, i dont even know who I AM!! i pretend too much over the years and now look.....i dont even know who i am

i dont even feel like a human who's name is Siti Nurhanis!!
i'm just a person who's nameless...






i feel empty

i envy ppl who really have ppl around them 24hrs to support them

i envy those who literally have a shoulder to cry on

i'm bleeding everywhere

i'm looking at a bleeding reflection in the mirror,staring back straight at me-and that bleeding reflection is me!

no matter how much i tried,i never am as good as anybody else...

i think its a BIG BIG mistake to those out there who says that they envy me,you're super wrong





I cant take it...

to tell everybody the thruth

i dont think i can last another year of pretending

i cant take it..

i SERIOUSLY CANT TAKE IT